Listmates,
This past Saturday was a really down day for me emotionally. I found myself
struggling with depression. As most of you know, I had low back surgery
this past February for repair of a ruptured disk. I still have two disks
that are bulging and could blow at any time. When I saw the surgeon for my
follow up, he told me that from here on out, I should not even think about
lifting my mother nor should I lift anything more than 30 pounds. Having
been a licensed practical nurse, that could severely limit my nursing career
once mom passes on. Also I have severe degenerative arthritis in my right
hip for which I'll be having a total hip replacement once mom does pass on.
As a result I have been in nearly constant pain before and even after the
surgery. This past Saturday, it just started weighing on me. I was so
tired of the constant pain. I was so tired of hearing mom scream out in
fear when I would reposition her in bed. I won't go into trying to get her
out of bed on those rare occasions when we do so. I found myself being
directed back to this poem that I wrote two years ago. I know that there
have been many others here who have also really struggled in their care of a
loved one. Anyway, this is my prayer for you and for me. BTW, I am in a
better frame of mind today. :o)
Jerry
